Reflections on changing times and family values

Times have indeed changed but family values have not necessarily changed. They certainly haven't in our family. Part of what I felt was my job as a parent was to pass the torch of family value on to my children. I think we have succeeded quite well.

What exactly are family values? In our family, it means that you respect the other members of the family. Children especially are taught to respect the adult members of the family. While they may refer to their aunts and uncles by the first name it is always preceded by the title aunt or uncle. We are Grandma and Grandpa pure and simple.

Our house is always open to our grandchildren and children but they knock before entering. No one is allowed to help themselves to anything in our home without asking first. Sometimes when I am feeling particularly lazy I wish it wasn't so but my grand kids always ask for what they would like and I go and get it for them. Learning to respect others property is a value that many children today haven't seemed to have learned.

We taught our children that honesty is always the best policy and we expected nothing less than 100 percent from them. Nothing would make us angrier than dishonesty. It is something that my children accept as the way things should be and have passed this on to their children.

I was delighted today when Jack told me that his teacher said to him that she knew he was telling the truth because Salvas boys don't lie, that is a 6-year-old telling me his values plain and simple. 

We also taught them to treat others as they would like to be treated. This means many things. It means you always tell anyone if they undercharge you at the store and also when they overcharge you. I am always amazed when the clerks look at me or my daughter or sons like we had two heads when we say you didn't charge me enough. They really don't know how to handle this.

We still hold the door open for older people, we are polite in the store and don't cut people off in the aisles. We recognize the right of others to be in the same space as we are.

We also taught our children to give back to the community. To volunteer and to help out. God has been very good to us and we, in turn, should share that with others.

I realize that today's family has changed in many ways. There are blended families and single-parent families but values don't need to change, as a matter of fact, it seems to me that they are even more important under trying circumstances.

Our family has maintained a very close relationship. My grandchildren are close to each other and we do many family things together. Family is the link that holds the entire fabric of our society together and I can't emphasize enough how important I think it is to pass values on to the generations to come.

Is our family perfect? Far from it. Like every family, there has been a divorce, teen rebellions, children born out a wedlock and financial woes but through it all, our values have remained steadfast.