What children need from their parents

What children need from their parents is parenting, not friendship. Raising your children is the most important job you will ever have. Yes, it is a job and a very difficult one. As parents, you will give and give and then give some more. You will get exhausted and often be unappreciated.

There are rewards for parenting but they are few and sometimes far between. Your job as a parent is to meet the needs of your children and these come in many forms. Most of all, however, you will love them, no matter what.

Infants

When you first bring home your child, they will be dependent on your for everything. You will provide them with food, water, warmth and security. These basic things sustain life. You will also give them the feeling of human touch, which is one of the most important things that you can give to your child. Studies have shown that children who are not held and touched do not develop as well as children who are nurtured and cuddled. To help your child to thrive, you need to give them more than just the basics.

Toddlers

As your child grows, you will be giving them structure and empathy. They will learn from your example how to interact with other humans, animals, and with nature. What children need at this next stage is a good example to follow. Honesty, courtesy, a work ethic and respect are all things that your child will need to learn from you.

Children want and need to know their limits, toddlers will test their parents to learn how far they can go. Parents need to set the limits and teach their child that there are consequences, this is a very important part of parenting.

School Aged

When your child goes off to school, having your example will be even more important. They need you to be the rock that is always there. Many other people will influence them at this point and you need to be there to teach them what is really important.

They need to get their self-worth from you. It is you, who can tell them and show them that they are valuable, individual and outstanding creations and that they are not in competition with anyone else. That they don't always have to be number one because they are always number one with you.

Teens

As your children grow into teens if you have given them what they need up to this point, they will be better equipped to handle all the pressures that will be put on them. Don't worry too much at this point if they don't seem to need you and don't be tricked into thinking what they need is a friend. They have friends; you need to be their parent.

You need to have your experience handy to help them and you need to let them know that you will always be there for them even if they do something of which you do not approve. Unless it is illegal, don't sweat the small stuff.

Adults

Even when they have grown up and moved away your children will need to know that they have someone who loves them unconditionally and who they can turn to when the going gets tough. These days that happens more and more.

What your children need from you ultimately is to be the best parent that you can be and to love them unconditionally even when there are times you may not like them.